"just purchase trashy romance novels. that will put things in perspective."

last nigth brandon's curt but simple thoughts really made my day. he may be totally stoned all the time and use the word "cosmic" regularly, but he also says things like "you're really cute." "i mean in an athletic way." "not that that's a bad thing." "whats your sign again? aries? scorpio?" "oh right, scorpio, why didn't i guess that first? spicy and rowdy." his dog is also kind of cute and he invited me to have an affair with him seeing as mark lives down the street. i found that comical.

honestly, i haven't felt this great about things or myself in a long time. the funny thing is, it's not like anything has clicked or is going particularly well. its the weird good feeling that accompanys falling in love and buying a new hot dress or getting the job you wanted. it's more like i like how i spend my time and who i spend my time with. i've chosen really good people to surround myself with. while im dramatic and front about a ton of stupid shit, when it comes down to it, i'm okay and the people who make me happy, that i make happy, exist peacefully. i dont know if any of this has anything to do with the end to the paul struggles or the posi attitudes of the summer, or frankly just not dating or committing myself to anyone in some time, but whatever it is, it's working.

i have returns to make. i just bought dvds that i dont need right now as well as shoes and pants. make me return them. please make me.

im going to watch tv and then go to swimming practice at 6 pm. its going to be totally gay. gay as in fun.