things will be easy soon right? like my finger will heal, i won't struggle for money, and i won't fight with friends anymore. i can paint if i want or sew or write a book. i can schedule and structure or deconstruct my life. i can be obsessed with tv or eat a lot of pizza. maybe i won't wear boots anymore or go outside if it has snowed. i'll probably cook dinner a few times and wonder what all my other friends are doing. or maybe i can just drink myself silly for a few days and hitch hike to chicago so i can remember what it is like. maybe ill buy records and a record player because i like that click hiss noise at the end of a record. i can clear my eyes and wear enough sweaters to keep warm. i can take my time.