"suicide, it's a suicide."

the last few days have felt really very strange. i'm realizing the world is just much too small. i don't really want to get into it. the weather's got me down and i feel as though my nasal passages and breasts are swelling.

i sometimes think i surround myself with amazing people, but on some nights they all seem to be crazy. they all seem to make me crazy like they (or i) must change with the weather, or the full moon, or the changing winds or something. i looked forward to summer flings and others' returns from abroad, but the sparks are not like they used to be. the friction of skin on skin and the static on the phone doesn't feel the same. i can't force it.

this is what my new home will look like. we will sit in the kitchen and sip our coffee and crack open the dictionary to random pages like our grandmas do, or did. i'll build a home and live in it for a year. i'll stay put and keep people regularly around me.