FUNTIME

this weekend included:
pounding beers at a minister's house
hardcore show
going to the beach
with a dog
chowing mexican food
riding my bike all over boston
plymouth
giggles
sleepover
ferris
raging in the car

i had so much fun.

today i crashed my fucking bike because the #66 bus cut me off and all the gravely shit in the road caused me to fall. what bullshit. i got up, said "fuck" and kicked my bike.

i want a new one and i will paint it gold.
amen.

shot walk to train

all sorts of odd typos in craigslist apt ads, like, yes, shot walk to train. i'm pretty obsessed with looking for an apartment right now. st. george here i come. maybe. or... astoria? park slope? eh?

did not accomplish much today. knitted 1/3 of a turquoise and brown scarf, started reading tristram shandy, and sort of entertained the idea of cleaning my room. then decided i should just pack and move instead.

all i know is tomorrow i'm eating lunch in a suit, for no reason, with three other folks wearing suits for no reason. yeah.

probably coming to boston next week. jacqueline: you're in charge of making medford fun.

4 real

man stuff is busy lately. i just finished applying to be a pearson teacher fellow. i am also applying to OT school. all i have left to do is write my personal statement.

i have been waiting for like an hour for a pal to come over, but i dont know if that is going to happen. like WTF. what is this world coming to?

too bad it's too cold to ride bikes. also it's too bad that i fucking hate my pink bike and will be buying a new one soon.

hey man.

jobz

hey! i finally got a job! it's in new york city and it starts soon, details to come, still "negotiating" "salary." yes book publishing. basically exactly what i wanted. and the pay is crap, but that's okay. i'll live on staten island, or something. shaolin represent.

i'll still visit boston all the time, though. i can't believe i missed bike jousting at the middle ages party. bummer.

well i'm pretty psyched. plus i'm going to ps1 tomorrow, plus i'm going to go bake sand cookies now. bitchez.

1st coffee.

i've been having too much fun lately. i just made pancakes too. i also did not overdraw my account.
today i will be applying to graduate school and mailing out letters.
greatness.

bean town

medford was fun a few weeks ago. monen's room is so much prettier than when it was my room. brotzmann rules. i'll come back soon, promise.

fat

What do you fucking care for me?
I'm black and blue and bruised all the fucking time.
Why should I fucking care for you?
I've been with you in the morning for the last time.
I'm not as happy as I once was to see you,
You're fatter around the side.
No, no, no, no, you're not as thin as you used to be.
You've gotten fatter around the thighs.

i am the one singing and you're the one listening. it is just too funny and can apply everywhere.
i did a lot of bike riding today. wiped out and must go do other things: potluck, party, plan for tomorrow.
sometimes a really good reason to keep your chin up is that you are not the one writing awful songs and you are also not the character featured in them:

Your daddy beat you up
Your daddy beat you down
Your daddy put your mama in the hospital
Your daddy left town...he broke your heart
Your mama drank too much
Your mama hit you in the face
You had to make excuses for the bruises to all your friends
You had to live in disgrace...She broke your heart
Daddy came in your room at night
He took whatever he want
Your daddy was your first time
And your mama never tried to stop him...they
broke your heart
My mama beat me up
My mama beat me down
My brother raped my sister
My family threw me out... they broke my heart
America is the place where the kids got broken hearts
America is the place where the kids got twisted minds
bent on self destruction
America is the place where the kids got their wills broken
into and broken in two
America is the place where the kids got broken hearts
And the adults say hish, keep it down now,
voices carry
They say, don't tell anyone, don't tell em
anything
Don't tell 'em what went on, don't tell 'em
what really happened
Don't tell anyone, don't tell 'em anything
They won't believe you cuz it's all your fault
Hush
I made a bag out of a piece of cloth
I made a wish and I wrote it down on a piece of paper
I put th epaper in the bag and I wished with all
my heart
I said, please please deliver me; low and behold it
became reality
So I can say today
I refuse to believe that god created me to be
tortured
I refuse to believe the earth created me to be
abandoned
I refuse to believe that god created me to be
neglected
I refuse to believe the Earth created me to be
abused
I picked up the pieces of my broken heart off of
the dirty boulevard
I found a punk rock kid who had a needle and
some leather string
I made a wish and I said it, again and again I took
the needle and threaded it
I sewed my broken heart back together again
I got family now, sew my broken heart back together again
I got a wife I love, sew my broken heart back together again
I got two daughters I love, sew my broken heart back together again
I got a family now
Who ever you are, whatever you do, where ever
you are you don't deserve Abuse
Hush

things never are how they seem.
tonight was amazing and confusing at the same time.
love.

is that a beer?

so at work today the manager bought us all beers cos selling coursebooks is STRESSFULL! sometimes, so we're drinking and ringing people up, and this one lady is really upset that her book is ringing up at a different price than she thought it would be. and she is giving the girl next to me shit about it, really yelling at her when there's nothing she can do about it. meanwhile i am waiting for a receipt to print and drinking my beer. and the cranky lady asks me "is that beer?" what do you think, cranky lady? no, it's a nalgene bottle designed to look like guinness.

i am sick with the flu and vomitting. my polished nails are chipping. my room/house is a mess. my computer is broken.

tangent wave

cosine wave

i got a handjob from a 35 year old married guy with three kids: ages 3, 5 and 8.

beat that.

sine waves

i had a pillow fight at the dreamhouse.

beat that.

ipod please please come back to life

you scraped your tongue?

my attempt to "restore" my ipod has failed. it is feverish and whimpering and no longer has any music on it.

in the whole restoring process, though, i realized how much of my music i'm actually pretty okay with not ever listening to again. like the shins. i especially don't particularly want to ever hear the shins again. why did i like the shins? i remember liking the shins! i remember singing that one song with megan all the time. i remember accidentally missing the concert and then seeing the dreamers and getting ice cream instead. but i do not remember why i liked them.

i hope i can fix this thing by monday, because another eight hours of chinatown bus without music will not be so fun. last time i was stuck sitting behind this lady who was talking on the phone about how she just slept for 51 hours straight, and was at a party where everyone was rolling around on the floor. what? who are you? nobody does either of those things, ever.

the good news is, ipod or no ipod, i have an minimalist japanese inflatable neck pillow from that minimalist japanese design section of the moma store cos i used my store credit today. so, i will be the coolest person on the chinatown bus.

chicago part 2

16. saw brokeback mountain.
17. saw a big band sinatra show.
18. enjoyed 2$ martinis with julia stile's ballet leg double in save the last dance.
19. ate ribs and bibs, japanese, and hot dogs.
20. went to millenium park.
21. witnessed a man bleeding from the head.
22. purchased a new list notebook.
23. went to the aquarium (saw octopi, beluga whales, sea otters, jelly feesh, giant crabs, lungfish and almost bought a jellyfish like the one amy has hanging.)
24. saw the submarine at the museum of science and industry.
25. did not punch zach in the nuts but did spoon him.
26. cu cu ca chaw.
27. had awkward conversations with his roommates.
28. thought i lost my wallet a million times but didn't.
29. was on a broke down bus then walked through the mud to a new bus only to sit next to a wasted guy.
30. got approached by about 23047394872340829 people panhandling.
31. stepped over the homeless man that sleeps on zach's stoop.
32. the earliest time we(i) woke was 10:30.
33. talked to my mom on the phone.
34. set the standard at a huge diamond ring.
35. ate gelato.
36. drank a lot of coffee.
37. continued to suffer from tingly hands.
38. scraped my tongue.
39. talked about aunt helen and muncie.
40. decided to move there one day.

would you look at that.

chicago

1. i got to see emily monen
2. watch a lot of arrested development
3. see the biggest dinosaur/most complete dinosaur ever
4. walk a million miles in the very mild winter weather
5. miss too much light makes the baby go blind two days in a row
6. shop
7. sleep various uncomfortable places
8. suffer from tingly hands
9. see a puppy
10. go to the top of the hancock building
11. bro with other omahanos
12. stay with neal
13. go on a date
14. see brokeback mountain
15. shower less than i would have liked.

i still have three more days.

on the chinatown bus with a fucking garment bag, bitchez

boston was good, baked cookies and salvation armied with ms. fluker, had job interview and hot chocolate and grad school chat with professor that seemed to go well/went quite well, had breakfast with my (radiant) cousin.

now back in new york. i really like both cities, a lot. someone asked which one i like better and then when i paused they said i know, it's like asking you which is your favorite child, i'm sorry. and i thought, no, it is not really like that at all, and that seems like a really odd comparison to make, seeing as neither of us have any children. but anyway, yeah, i really do like both places, and i can't even decide which subway sounds i like better. new york is more screechy and dramatic and boston is rumbly and sort of soothing.

anyway so i have another interview tomorrow (gahh), and then on monday i'm starting (temporarily) working at the columbia bookstore to help out with their coursebooks rush. should be chill.

oh, and my fucking ipod broke. if anyone knows anything about this broken ipod bullshit or wants to try to "restore" my ipod for me, or hold my hand while i do it, that would be appreciated.

the worst feeling in the world is when you realize that someone you care a lot for doesnt care for you.

wasting time

i spent most of the morning helping my mom with my grandma at the clinic. she's admitted and i convinced her of a couple things (or tried to):
1. she is recieving a blood transfusion from the blood of some type of animal.
2. she did not recieve any christmas gifts.
3. i am the only granddaughter that loves her.

i wasted the morning yesterday getting out of jury duty, or atleast post poning it until the summer. ive been watching the football lately and had a wicked time at the bar yesterday. rubens was great: thanks jeff and steev.

right now im going to shower, down a bottle or two of wine with my mom, knit, and try to ignore the fact that my friends have not been calling me back or answering their phones at all.

new years resolutions:

1. be more like vyvyan basterd.
2. floss.
3. buy a tape player so i can play that tape from jacq that has that "new year's resolution" song on it.

happy new year!

the browns won today. i watched the whole game and hope it bodes well for next year. maybe '06 will be happier and healthier than last year. my resolution is to not be clumsy.

pals, i love you.