i swear it's true

so after riding bikes for a long time, me and monen and seamus chestnuTT riley got beers at the newtowne bar and grille in porter. that place is awesome. $10 for a large pizza and a pitcher of pbr. anyway, we're eating the pizza and drinking the beer, and i have a flash of revelation. "oh shit, guys!" i say. "i have never actually eaten pizza and drank beer at the same time! i mean i have eaten a lot of pizza and i have drank a lot of beer, but i don't think i have ever done both together." seamus was skeptical, replying, "that claim is about as true as the claim that you're never late." dis. but i am pretty sure it is true.

other highlights of the day?
1. no rain.
2. seamus threading his lock through four bagels and riding around with the bagel chain dangling from his bike.
3. firecrackers AND fireworks.
4. haircut.
5. running into a lot of funny people, including michael gould-wortofsky, hunter college high school's favorite activist, and hearing his plot for a rowboat hijacking.

sew, like so

our half-finished coffees were left kissing on my desk. if they had arms, they'd probably be hugging too.

what an awesome day. the aquarium (sea urchins, star fish, hermit crabs, rock crabs, mussels, clams, oysters, horse shoe crabs, sand dollars, snails), movies, the boy, walking in the rain, driving, teasing, the kids. i'm so happy right now.

near fatal encounters with bees.

remind me to wear my retainers more often. it's the only thing i've got going for me since i'm a total brat.

i'm a genius. a- on a 26 page paper written in exactly 36 hours. i got a good night's sleep too. comments: "you write very well." take that syed. bitches!


i want this dog.

don't be surprised if my arm falls off

seriously, it might. if you see me about to play some frisbee, talk me out of it. ow ow ow. i should probably make a doctors appointment. also, a career services appointment.

okay i have to go to sleep. and when i say go to sleep, i mean listen to this american life. oh dear sweet ira.

schoooool's out for . . . summer. and school's also . . . out . . . for . . . summer!

i wish.

i would pay for you anytime.

dinosaurhaircuts: i had a real fun night with paul tonight.
caribouamy: yay
caribouamy: whatd you guys do
caribouamy: oh man jsph destroyed my ride
dinosaurhaircuts: broke your bike?
caribouamy: ah he just broke the chain while trying to fix the gears
caribouamy: struggles
dinosaurhaircuts: sorry i had to steal rock salt
dinosaurhaircuts: dont ask
caribouamy: god, jacqueline, you're always stealing rock salt
caribouamy: i'm really getting sick of this.
dinosaurhaircuts: yeah sorry
dinosaurhaircuts: okk paul and i just watched a movie
dinosaurhaircuts: but i walked over there
dinosaurhaircuts: rather tahn being helpless and making him pick me up
caribouamy: oh lovely
caribouamy: yeah it isnt far, eh?
dinosaurhaircuts: and then we had to return the movie
dinosaurhaircuts: it was late
dinosaurhaircuts: and then he (!!!)
dinosaurhaircuts: kissed me while he was driving
dinosaurhaircuts: fast!
caribouamy: ohh!!!
caribouamy: so cute
caribouamy: and dangerous?
dinosaurhaircuts: romantic amy.
caribouamy: was that like amy who is romantic, or romantic, amy.
dinosaurhaircuts: yeah you really swept me off my feet.
caribouamy: thats what i was trying for

midnight bus

i'm taking the midnight bus to ny and i can guarantee that at least one of my fellow passengers will have pierced balls. i bet you were never able to say that.

also, i want to marry:
1. melt banana
2. the girl who baked six apple pies and gave them to people on the lawn today
3. emily for making me lemonade

ok i have to go paaaack.

famer, famous.

paul pulled a mike grabski on me last night.
i'm going to rearrange my ipod and then chill on the porch and learn the 300 pages of material for my monster exam on tuesday.
in other news, i'm at risk for a grade of a d in my physics class. how does this even happen? a better question is why am i not worried?

i've been rockin my ancient anian jeans, and today, a girl i'm somewhat familiar with stopped what she was doing to tell me that she thinks i have great style and i can pull things off that most people can't. i suppose this means that anything 5 years old that smells terrible and is torn to shreds constitutes "good style" these days. also cardboard shoes, unwashed hair, and deconstructed shirts make me quite the fashionista.

i'll see your 50 cent dream and raise you an animal collective dream

i had a dream last night that we all "joined" (don't ask me what, exactly, this means) animal collective and we were all yelping and rolling on the floor and running around. on second thought, maybe we were just all epileptic?

the night before, i dreamt that i saw my prom date (mr. sam brody) in harvard square which is weird cos he goes to school in virginia. and i said, hey, where's the mixtape you owe me? (cos he does owe me one in real life) and he said, um, i don't know, i have to go to pizzeria uno now, ok? bye!

in french class today, the professor gave us all cannolis. it was amazing. cannolis and beckett. the cannolis were huge. and really good. i am 75-80% cannoli right now.

melt banana tonight! plot in a pot plot in a pot!

getting fucked up off viagra and wine, we did a few lines

every time i hear this vip song, i start to think about the plight of upper middle class gay white men and cry, even if i have nothing to be sad about. "mad coke, mad weed, bitches on speed, mad sex, mad speed, vip... don't give me your stds because you've got syphillis, gonorrhea and crabs. got a little rash, thanks, i'll pass. "

i had two funny dreams. one was about beth's roommate and how she got some fifty cent, like the rapper, not the money, pumps that had polka dots and "fifty cent" stitched in cursive along the side. they were kitten heels and mostly cream colored, pink, and blue. i also had a dream i was pregnant.

after talking my mom into depositing money into my account, i realized that if i budget well, maybe, just maybe i can get a haircut. nathaniel flattered me and emily a lot last night and i'm considering going for another dyke look.

i could stay here, become someone better

oh man this one cat power song makes me cry every time i hear it, even if i don't have anything to cry about.

so that's what i'm doing now, crying and singing along. when the song is over i guess i will stop crying and do my french homework. and it is pretty lame that i'm going to have to stay up late translating virginia woolf into french, but it is nothing to cry about.

i want to go to the medford square carnival.

la la la.

this weekend is going to be intensely familial and jewish. but passover's my favorite holiday so i won't complain. we get to sing the song about the baby goat. that is the best part.

self of steam.

we do talk about bikes a lot. they ruined my bum and lower back.

my room is very kinetic right now. the ribbons are floating and papers are rustling on the walls.

none of my dresses purchased last year fit. great. really great. my warm weather wardrobe is ruined and there's nothing i can do about it because i don't have any money. my hair is sweaty and i want a cut, but there's nothing i can do about that either because i don't have any money. so i feel gross and like he shouldn't like me so much.

i've got wanderlust. i want to go on tour or something. tour? what am i talking about. jesus. south korea called.

an age-old proverb.

four beer bottle caps do not a contact lens case make.

'tis the season for nosebleeds and falling in love.

i think we are maximizing our time as well as maxing out our patience with each other. last night was not the best scene. i let my nerves get the best of me after i realized that when you like someone, the good feeling makes the bad feelings sometimes much worse. it was all over something stupid, and while i'll be the first to admit that there are a lot of things wrong with me, i'll be the first to cry when others realize it. i guess i just have to own it.

zach's letting me slip through the cracks, and i'm letting myself fall for someone else while struggling to keep my balance. that means dramatic phone calls and attempts to walk away much too early. i'm sorry.

oh how i hate you cleveland. you're bummin me out and i'm not even there. i will fight you and i will win. i won't let you ruin this or anything else, especially my summer (struggle-free).

ps: holy shit there is a gigantic bee in my room.

tigers tigers tigers tigers tigers

despite everything people (hello, paul) said about animal collective sucking live, i thought they were awesome last night. yeah, they could've played a few more songs from sung tongs, but i'll take when i can get, especially when what i can get involves spastic dancing and drumming, and lyrics like "i just caaaaalled to say/ i liiiiike you." amazing.

then, after the show, we really needed cannolis, so we rode to the north end, got very lost, almost gave up and settled for dunkin' donuts instead, and finally found the 24 hour bakery. there should be more 24 hour bakeries around here . . . and 24 hour other things (manhattan i miss you). anyway, the cannolis were worth the detour.

everything is good because it is warm out. no jackets, cheerful yelling out the window, sunny streets, frisbee with strangers, gazpacho, everyone walking around in bikinis and funny shorts. man, i need some shorts.

and in response to jaq's question: "no . . . and no."

is it too early to enjoy some starbucks liqueur?

he has helped my insomnia and makes sleeping a little bit more fulfilling. i think i just make him tired because i wake him up a lot. or it may be because he has to wake up at 6:15 am to go to work. i'm pretty sure i said a couple of weird/stupid things while i was half asleep last night. we woke up around 4 to yelling i thought at first was outside, but was next door. someone ended up bleeding because there is blood in the bathroom. oh how i love my house.

i'm about to hop to it, get some homework done, go eat, view the marathon, or atleast wander around with patty downtown. happy patriots day. every city needs their random day off. i'd say that i'm not too happy ours involves running and the unrelated word "patriot," but i'll take what i can get.

is it too early to enjoy some starbucks liqueur? seriously, is it?

i'd never get sick of beth and brad living around here. they are so fun, so amazing. i'm sad like when my parents drop me off at school.

i don't know how, but i ended up calling my cousins at 4 am and paul a ridiculous amount of times without even knowing it. i attempted making my bed when i got home but fell asleep in the bathroom. so called "casual" irish car bombs, are not casual, clean, easy, or fast.

tim got banned for life from the bar his last birthday, and celebrated the one year anniversary there. he got thrown out again. i'm not surprised. emily was a little tamer on her birthday.

it's beautiful and i have nothing to complain about.

does anyone actually read this?

it occurs to me that i don't think i told anyone i have this thing, so if anyone does read this, they're probably jacqueline's friends. if you are reading this, you should leave me a comment, even if you are jacqueline's friend who i've never even met. okay? but probably the only person who'll comment will be jacqueline. that'll be funny. i'm looking forward to that.

man, i just got off work and i made a quarter in tips. a quarter! i mean, it's not like i live off tips (usually i get 2-5 dollars) but a quarter is just depressing. and it sucks that it's two in the morning and i've still got a response paper to deal with.

but to look on the brighter side of things: there is a drunk frenchman wearing a shelf-bra tanktop in my living room playing mario kart (i think it's his birthday?), and seamus bought me a new bike lock today. and i got a bunch of nice visitors at work. and i got my comic in on time last night because albert skipped the opening bands with me so we could sit in wendy's and i could finish drawing.

oh and also - i've been thinking we should start a bicycle gang, but now i have an even better idea: we should start a bicycle book club, wherein we read a book and then we have to discuss it while riding bikes and yell out our opinions over traffic noise. yes.

what should we start with? vonnegut maybe?

i had a fantastic dream about bickering with emily about who was going to buy the squid squeaky toy for their dog. i surrendered it so she gave me her car because she "likes to walk her dog more anyway."

i don't think that music has ever touched me more than today. i almost started crying thinking "man they are SO right." do you think the dudes in hwm get laid often? goddamnit, i love punk rock.

nonstopartywagon

this person is so much to me that i would do anything for her if i could do anything for her. i think and hurt and pray for her. i love her. see her in 3 days.

it's often been said that life is too short for only one kind of cabage.

let's play tristan and isolde but make sure i see white sails

i'm going to see of montreal tonight! yay.

now i have to go draw a comic about an exchange i had with a cat while i was riding my bike and singing an animal collective song. i've been putting it off because i am terrible at drawing bicycles. i can never seem to remember how the different parts are connected to each other and what angles they connect at. i can draw a lot of other things, but i guess i am better at drawing things that are more organic than bicycles. so wish me luck.

at work the other night, a guy came in and said "hey, do you have any tinfoil?"
"no, sorry," i said. "what do you need it for?"
"don't worry about it. do you know where i can get some?"
"what? seriously, come on, what's it for?"
"um, well, we have a hookah . . . and you know, for the coals . . ."
"you have a hookah in the library?"
"oh, um, no, outside."
"try hotung. i think they have tinfoil."

i hope he finally found some.

right now i am writing this in the radio station, and it's the metal show (headbangers ball), and i love how excited this lady gets about her metal. it's one of the cutest things i've ever seen.

own it.

i just picked up a can of diet pepsi that had been sitting on my desk for who knows how long and drank some of it. it tasted like garbage. kind of like how the burnt caramel ice cream tastes at brown and brew, except that garbage taste is totally addicting.

i'm sitting here, writing an 18 page paper, daydreaming about the cleveland summer, nice warm weather, massive allergy attacks followed by asthma attacks, curves with bean, romantic trips to emily and omaha, mullens, driving fast, couch surfing, grandmas, los angeles smog, drinking wine out of the bottle, and passing out in front of the tv watching the nanny in my mom's bed with the dog breathing and drooling on my stomach while my mother snores beside me.

i've been on the verge of an anxiety attack all day, really my heart has just been beating fast because i've been puffing the inhaler a lot and it tricks me into thinking im about to flip out. i haven't although the stress of it has left me with minor back pain and a couple of knots in my shoulders. nothing a little acupuncture can't take care of.

lost lock, procrastination

today was officially the first beautiful spring day and i went for a bike ride to filene's basement on my newly repaired bike to buy megan some birthday socks. i got to filene's ten minutes before closing and got some awesome socks with polka dots and cat royalty on them. but then on the way back, somehow i lost my bike lock. i really don't know how it uncoiled itself from my bike and fell off without me noticing. it's interesting not having a lock, because you end up having to ask people to watch your bike all the time. it's a good way to make friends, i guess, but i want my lock back.

ok, now i'm really really really going to start my homework. really.

right after i cook this pasta and watch this movie.

i swear.

caloric intake.

my eating fluctuates in cycles. eat one day, hardly eat the other. today was a "hardly eat the other" day. 3 beers in i wanted to dance and my judgement stepped in and was like "jacqueline, i understand you like to dance, but if you do it here, you will equate yourself with the TS (track sluts) of the party. " "okay," i said, "i didn't think dancing in this environment would ruin my career, or even my night." judgement said "well, whatev. i'm chillin. do what you please." in the end, we didn't dance, but it was actually a good time to catch up with patrick, marta, and see the future of dance through mike don's eyes. if i would have known formal meant "slutty," it is how i would have dressed. i was casual in a knee length skirt and pink shirt that covered my shoulders well.

everyone went to the beach tonight to say bye to leah's car as she is turning it in tomorrow. *bye leah's car!! so patty and i were like "we're not stayin around to hear about how they got sand down their pants and the water was too cold. we're going home, getting a good nights rest and beginning to think about living somewhere , like a house, for next year that is going to rule. he says to me, "i want our appartment to be the slow jam." and i was like "patty dont you even worry, i'm a girl." and he was like "yeah true. you're into decorating and proper utensils." and i was like "yeah, plus, combined , we are crafty. we will have no problem. my only concern is that we don't have a bong. the dearborn house doesn't and i feel as though if we want to be the slowjam we are going to need to get a bong." he says. "oh, yeah, def." then he started grindin all up on me and he spilled beer down my front and gave hi fives to a bunch of dudes.
the point here. the thing you're all wondering why im talking about any of this, is to tell you about how amazing scrambled eggs are. i stumbled home just now and was like "hmm i want something warm and i want to eat it with catchup.... i want some eggs!" so i made them and ate them and they ruled. pizza would obviously have been a whole bunch better, but pizza requires direct exchange of money and transportation, so eggs won out tonight. i'm thinking of a pb&j before bed.

i'm crawlin into bed. i'm tellin you. i look good most of the time. in the am, in the pm. while asleep. my pajamas are boy's undergarments mixed and matched to adorable configurations that could be somewhat seductive as well as completely 'keep away, i'm too cute.' but really, i don't think anyone will see either sides of this argument any time soon.

do something pretty while you can [boyz]

i agree, the party was fun. i had too much to drink as always but it was seriously such a good mix of people i couldn't have felt better. i'm really glad greg, barry, and paul came even though my feelings got hurt. i'll grin and bear it. you know, i remember saying [emily heard it] "man i'd rather hang out with these guys than go home," and then literally like less than 3 minutes later paul basically told me to go home! so of course i had a dramatic exit, followed with phone calls, and tears just because i was intoxicated. i do a lot of crying while walking/driving places and it seems more cathartic than crying while stationary.

the boy to girl ratio was high in my favor, yet i left last night with no crush. am i losing it ? or am i okay alone ? actually i had a crush on paul until i realized he wouldn't like me. i guess he gets points for the attempted "finding me" outside though.

in other news, i'm givin up my clevo crush because he's terrible on the phone esp when im already feeling bad, has a girlfriend, and i'm finding no one is worth the LDCrush. i'm concerned no ones really worth the LDR either. eep. too bad we didn't go to denny's.

...it's spring. i'd settle for most anything.

denny's?

the party was a success, i think. there was music, my brakes got repaired, interesting groups of friends intersected, birthdays were celebrated, megan and emily got sweet presents, and there was cake with yellow flowers. yes. then, after the party was sort of over, it became clear that we had to watch at least some of wet hot american summer. and take pictures of seamus in very, very small running shorts. so yeah, we did all that, and i just brushed my teeth, and now it's about 7 am. so goodnight.

ps: i like that someone apparently went into my room and used my computer to visit dennys.com at 4 am. thanks for inviting me to denny's, guys.

it's spring, it's warm.

that means the bunnies want to do it, and the girls do too. seriously, i'm making up for the fact that this is the first time in awhile i haven't had a romantic interest by eating gross amounts of [junk] food, candy, milkshakes, gin, and sandwiches. i've really wanted burger king especially after the new friend shawn told me about how they somehow managed to make their whopper bigger than it already is. it would be so good, yet so gross.

today i was knocked to my senses as i was walking the 10 minutes to the bus, thinking, and breathing warm air that 2.5 weeks isn't worth it. i'm bummed about that, but lots of stuff made up for it. the free wine at the gallery opening made the 40 grand a year that we/others payto this school totally worth it. laughing inside my head at the fucked up girl from texas talk in her fake texan accent about her accent made it worth it as well. i never knew calling someone a bitch who is actually a bitch would induce laughing. realizing i had a lime for the gin&tonic made life a bit sweeter. most of the food i ate today was free. i realized that i'm fucked for a paper due tues. like f-u-c-k-e-d, but it don't matter. emily and i have a MO plan.

don't say i didn't warn you about those brakes

did i warn kish about those brakes?
yes, i did.
did she take my bike anyway?
yes, she did.

(brake update: still not working. my bicycle mechanic is quite charming, but not the most reliable person i know.)

in other news, we failed to see michel gondry, and we even failed to watch the simulcast in the MIT hallway, because the weird, distorted sound quality plus michel's french accent made the interview pretty much incomprehensible. oh well. at least we succeeded at getting burritos.

i still love you, michel.

they left without you.

the bike had no brakes and a wobbly front tire. 20 mins there and back was frightening as i missed getting hit by 2 cars, and nearly hit, yes, i nearly ran over 6 people trying to cross the street. my bike ride today was disastrous.

disastrous: 1. subject to or affected by disaster. 2. full of unfavorable stellar influence. 3 attended by or productive of suffering or disaster: very unfortunate.

ironically, i ran into goligorski as seamus and i were getting dinner (which was real good and we followed up with a free milkshake. he made the comment today "it's funny that we eat the most junkfood of all our friends, and exercise less than everyone, but we still look great." if you aren't jealous, you should be). we admired his bike, talked nunn, got permission to keep his gold watch, claimed he had nothing to do with fag (he was merely "thrown away"), compared physics classes, told the story of my preschool scooter wipe-out that landed me with a whole bunch of dirt in my underpants, and the subsequent minutes i spent with my hands down my pants trying to get it out at the playground today.

in other news, i may or may not have a panic disorder. i'm currently leaning towards may not because i'm not all that worried about school. perhaps my self induced cognitive behavioral therapy (drinking frequently) has helped.

why i love my bicycle mechanic

because he sends emails that start like this:

"ok. i will come and ameliorate your mechanical mate's little foibles but you need to read a richard brautigan book."

nobody else would invent such an illustrious description of my brake struggles/ gear issues.

(little does he know i've read all of them already.)

(you should read them, too!)

kish may have picked the worst moment to abandon that mission

so i'm downstairs a minute ago, screenprinting a poster for our party on friday (by the way, we're having a party on friday), when i find this watch on the table. "whose watch is this?" i ask seamus. "it's david goligorsky's" is the reply. so. the watch is recovered, but alas too late, for the mission has already been abandoned. the watch doesn't work, anyway, so i can't imagine what kish wanted with it.

okay, back to screenprinting. and eating sherbert. mmm.

abandon mission.

abandon mission: "tac(t)" i found out golio left a broken watch at the dearborn house. i want it and i think that's payment enough for the loss of fag. i mean it wasn't really his fault. i'll just say im not surprised that a religious man killed my octopus named fag.

new mission: "hong kong"
what: we must obtain the pictures taken the night of april 2nd, 2005.
who: well obviously amy and i have to do it. but annie is the target.
why: my personal amusement.
how: any means possible. ie. get annie to download them/get on the internet/send them to me.
when: any time. best time would probably be when stoned.

bloggerucker

that took forever. amy and i could not figure out how to get the blog to be our names. finally, we did. i should say i did.

for the record: i hate daylight savings time. you know, indiana doesn't ever change their clocks. they may as well just succeed from the union, or maybe they are on to something. perhaps the rest of the country should follow their lead. i guess their justification is that they are farmers, but i dont know what farmers have to do with clocks and time. they have roosters instead i guess. margaret-ann tried to tell me it is perfectly logical to gain and lose an hour according to season, but the only purpose i see is fucking up everyone's lives and sleep twice a year.

showdog moms and dads is also a really good show.

for the record...

any rapper who

a) sounds sort of weirdly surprised by what he's saying as he says it
b) rhymes "forty" with "shorty"
c) mentions scrabble
d) completely interrupts his flow to include a reference to "chinchilla"
or
e) makes bird noises (cooing, tweeting, etc.)

is pretty much a genius in my book.

in it to win it

"if i liked bikes, i would say something about bikes." i do like bikes, but probably not enough to write about them on the internet much. we'll see. all i know is that i'm never entering a bicycle race again unless i have a pocketful of tacks like inspector gadget. seriously. i'm in it to win it.